Hey. Thought it was time for a new post. I got this in an email and thought 'yall might enjoy it.
Long before recovery, and even many years into it, I had a need to understand who and what God was. I was sure that if I was "good" and acted the way I thought God wanted me to act, then I could control Him, and ultimately I would get what I wanted. I didn't know it then, but what I was trying to do was impose my will on God and make it seem like it was His will.
As you can imagine, this never worked out. The harder I tried to control people, places and things, presuming God's will was in alignment with mine, the more uncontrollable my life became, and the more I began to resent others, myself and God. It took many years for me to truly surrender my will and my life to God, but once I did I discovered a faith that went beyond understanding.
Today my faith confirms that God's will is infinitely better for me and others than I could ever imagine. By constantly affirming, "Thy will, not mine be done," I enjoy the freedom that comes from surrendering to the power and love of God. Today God is no longer confined by my need to define Him, and as a result I get to be a witness to His miracles as they unfold around me.